Friday, September 25, 2009

Life Is But An Illusion

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."~Albert Einstein

Have you ever felt like you're living a lie. That all that you know to be true is really just an illusion. It's as if you had just awaken from a dream, and you have a hard time differentiating what is real and what is not.

"We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality."~Iris Murdoch

I think illusions are very important. Illusions are what keeps us sane. Illusions are visions of hope. Illusions are dreams. And just like dreams, illusions doesn't last forever, it ends and we wake up. What happens when we wake up to find reality staring back at us. What do we do then? Do we slowly pull up the covers and quietly snuggle in and hope we fall back into sleep, secretly wishing we could get back to that exquisitely beautiful and equally enchanting dream, or do we get up and start living in the real world. It may be difficult, it may not be a bed of roses, but at least it's real.

"Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion."~Arthur Koestler

I just woke up. I had the most wonderful dream, the perfect illusion. But that was all it was, an illusion that I was naive enough to believe was true. I'm glad I woke up, I'm taking baby steps in this new world of reality, in search of the ultimate and eternal happiness. But you know what, I think I'll just hang on to the memory of my lost illusion just a little while longer.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I Only Wish To Be Understood

It's only recently that I realised what my aunt and teachers knew all along....I want to be a writer, I am destined to be a writer. Why do I want to write? Why does anyone write? Someone once made me smile and said that I must be a Thespian at heart, that I must've been a poet in my past life. Is it because I want to make lots of money? Is it because I want to be popular? Is it because it makes me feel good? Is it because I want to teach? Is it because I want to change the world?

Perhaps it is simply because I wish to be understood. Most writers just want to be understood but as much as they want to be understood, they also intentionally wishes not to be understood. I must admit, I sometime speak in riddles. It might be completely incomprehensible to some, but it might just be understood by the selected few. Yes, most writers do it on purpose, some readers will understand and some readers won't. Some people enjoy poetry and some just don't get it at all. It is not easy, to write something so simple and yet have some cryptic message hidden in it for that special someone.

It is common knowledge that women generally don't say what they mean. When we say things like "It's okay, it doesn't matter" it really means that we're not okay and it does matter. "It's okay, you don't have to buy me a birthday gift" most of the time means that we want a birthday gift. And when we say "size doesn't matter, it's the thought that counts" you can bet we're lying through our teeth. Why do we do it? Why don't we say what we mean?

I don't want to get into the details of why women do it, but for a writer, it's just the way we are.
That is really where the fun is, it makes for a better read. Nothing keeps the interest of the readers like a little mystery. There are just some things better left as secrets. But believe me when I tell you, some secrets are just dying to come out. As for me, I just wish to be understood, those who really know me will understand and these are my true soulmates. When I lament about not being understood, is it really anyone's fault but my own. As for now, I will continue to speak in riddles and hope that some will understand. It is just the way I am.